...

I'm doing hypnosis for child birth, which honestly is working gang busters. We're doing a home birth as well, for all sorts of political trans reasons. We live in Alberta (we also live in British Columbia, but my apartment in Vancouver is tiny-tiny and it's gonna be a lot better to give birth here, where we can actually make a nursery for our baby, a thing my partner is doing now while I answer emails from bed and boredly text all my friends). On October 30th, I started having "birthing waves," which is the Hypnobabies word for contractions. And friends, I want this baby THE FUCK OUT. I am not a happy, pleasant pregnant person. I am miserable. I have been sick since March. I am not glowing. So the minute I started having birthing waves, I encouraged them along. I have done the Miles circuit. I have eaten the dates. I have drank the raspberry tea. I ate the spicy ramen and drank the hot sauce. The birthing waves continued through Halloween and then...vanished.

Thanks. I hate it.